What's the best way for a 32 year old guy like me to meet a nice woman? I'm tired of the bar scene. Advice?

A little background: I just earned my 2nd undergrad degree after years of going to school pursuing ';a dream'; that I thought I wanted, traveling/studying/working abroad, and finally finding a direction that I feel that is more of a fit. Going back to undergrad when I was around 27 years old, I was already a lot older than my classmates. At first I was worried I wouldn't make that many friends, but it became a blessing in the long run because I've made some good friends and they didn't care that I was several years older. I'm also very athletic, funny, and morally respectful to everyone. Not to sound vain, but I'm a decent looking guy who looks a lot younger than I am. While in school I've had chances to date younger women but I didn't feel comfortable with it so I never pursued anything. So now I feel that I'm in a strange position in life. Now that I'm out of school AGAIN, I feel like I'm older than most of the regular college grads and so I can't relate to them, especially some friends who still like to party. At the same time I don't feel that I relate to others my age who are already into their careers, are married, have children, etc. So I feel like I'm in a strange position in life, sort of like in a social limbo. Add to this, I have financial debt from school loans. Going to school for as long as I have, I've accrued a good amount to where I'm ashamed of it, even though my brother has told me that I shouldn't be ashamed because it's school debt, at least, and not like credit card foolishness. But I feel like added to my age, and the fact that I am just starting a career in my field (fortunately I'm in the process of finding a job with this economic crisis so to speak), that having school loan debt will keep me from meeting a loving, quality woman who will want to be with me. I feel like if I found my direction earlier in life that I wouldn't have a problem now. I sincerely feel (and maybe I'm skewed in my reasoning) that women my age or close are looking for a guy who can take care of them financially -- whether they admit or not. I would do anything to take care of my future wife and family, but I feel like I'm being held back because of these things. I don't know what to do, and I'm at the point in life where I'm struggling to be positive and to simply do the best that I can in life, and to not worry. I suppose there's no point in complaining. I feel like it's difficult for me to find a woman that is my age and fits the criteria that I need (beautiful, wonderful smile, positive attitude, takes care of her body, is physically active, has a good job, and is always wanting to learn in life, just like me). Seems like the old adage that ';all the good ones are taken'; seems true. Am I deceiving myself into thinking that all the quality women now are being snatched and taken ';off the shelves'; by guys who have started earlier than me and are getting the attention of all the smart, beautiful ladies. I know there are some women who could be in the same position as me: pursuing their direction in life even if it means a lot of risk and not meeting someone right away. I know there are women like this out there but I haven't found them. I don't want to sound shallow in any way because I have my own faults, but I've been told I have high standards in looking for a woman, which everyone should have. I mean, if I didn't have certain criteria in a wife, then they should just be ';friends.'; It's that special woman that is going to capture my heart. I want to embrace her and love her and to feel love. I want to be able to share my dreams with her. I guess in the position in life now, I'm a lot lonelier than I thought. In the meantime, I've been making myself a better person -- a better ';candidate'; for this type of lady -- so to speak. I've been reading more books for leisure, taking up new activities, learning how to dance, lifting weights, running, yoga, keeping up to date in my field of study (graphic design and photography), eating better, cooking and trying to learn a new recipe each week, trying to sleep better, improving personal habits, learning how to be financially responsible, and drinking lots of water. There's so much in life that I want to do. While I was ';finding a direction'; I've had to opportunity to travel and see the world. At least this is something I can talk about and relate with to a girl. To try to sum this (too) long of a story ';short,'; I feel alone here. I don't have anybody to talk to and I don't want to turn into one of those freaks who become hermits and gain a beer belly. I'm probably the most open minded guy you'll meet. Being of an ';ethnic'; background, I know how it feels to be on the ';outside,'; so I believe this is what helps me to be more sensitive to others. To those who took the patience to thoroughly read and even relate to me, thank you. I'm not sure what kind of advice I'm asking for -- maybe I'm just venting. Maybe I need to find a friend who is in the same awkward position in lifeWhat's the best way for a 32 year old guy like me to meet a nice woman? I'm tired of the bar scene. Advice?
There are PLENTY of people in your situation...and you aren't ';too late'; to meet a woman. I am 29 years old, half of my friends are single, and the other half are in relationships (most with boyfriends/girlfriends....a few who are married....and VERY few of my friends have children). Everyone works at their own pace.





Yes, it's extremely difficult to meet the ';right'; person (especially at a bar....I actually don't drink, so I don't even GO to bars!). Online dating is always an option. Another option is to meet people doing what you enjoy doing. Personally, I like to do community theater (I love to act and sing)...I meet so many people doing that! My problem is that most of them are gay! haha! BUT, there are plenty of straight men to meet as well. I met one guy because he was the cousin of a girl who was in a show with me. I met another guy because he was in a Cancer Benefit concert with me.





Not all women are looking for money. BUT, most women are looking for a man who is financially stable. You don't have to be rich, but no woman wants to come into a relationship and have to deal with your debt (whether it be school debt or credit card debt or whatever). I am a strong and independent woman, but I don't want to have to be financially responsible for my boyfriend because he is in debt. You know what I mean? You might want to get out of debt before you jump into dating or a relationship. Once you have your s**t together, you will meet someone who sees you as a wonderful guy with a great head on his shoulders!





Don't stress...you don't have to be in a relationship at 32 to be happy. You have plenty of time. The more time you take, the happier you'll be in the long run. Never rush things and never ';settle.'; You sound like you're on your way to a great future, so take your time, enjoy life, and everything will fall into place soon!





EDIT: Ok...read the response from the guy below me. Keep in mind he is 15 years old. The things he is telling you to do may work at 15, but not at 32. There are more important things in life as you get older. Do NOT listen to this kid's advice....a 15 year old ';ladies man'; will no longer be a ';ladies man'; at 32. It takes more than a smile and waiting to make a phone call to land a lady!What's the best way for a 32 year old guy like me to meet a nice woman? I'm tired of the bar scene. Advice?
I completely understand. Just focus on ';you'; right now. Once you are content with yourself and where you are in life, people will come along. I know you will get to where you want to be soon...just hang in there and stay positive!!! Best of luck!

Report Abuse

Try for a job to get a steady and regular income. Once you are financially sound girls will get more confidence in your ability to take care of them . Do not waste your time thinking about your past and day dreaming. You are still in your prime.
Okay bro, here's the deal. I'm a tad bit younger than you, but good with the ladies. Sorry to inform you that the bar scene is probably the most likely way you're gonna meet a lady. But there are also some other ways. Rule #1 ';Less is More'; so how many times has a girl said she was gonna call you....and then doesn't. It happens to a lot of people. But you have to learn from this. When she says she is gonna call, you get anxious, and you start checking your phone every five seconds. This is because by nature, we want what we can not have, orrrr what is not given to us. So the less she calls you, the more you want her. This same principal applies to women. Moving on, Rule #2, ';24 Hours.'; I know it's tough but you may NOT FOR ANY REASON, call her before the first 24 hours. You have to call at the right time. Too early.... and she thinks your desperate. Too late..... and she has already decided you're not interested and have moved on. I know it's tough but you have to follow these rules. But before you have to follow these rules....you need a lady. So whether it's the bar scene, or the gym, or the movie store, etc. You need to be charming. Smile smile smile is all i can say. Girls like guys who are sweet and charming. You might even score some digits this way. BUT BEFORE ANY OF THIS, please make sure she does not have a boyfriends. That is information you need lol. There is nothing worse than talking to you're ';lady'; and having her tell you she forgot to tell you she has a boyfriend. If you follow all of these rules you will score a lady. If you have any questions on whether she is interested or not shoot me an email.





Oh, and by the way. If there is any doubt in your mind that she doesn't like you......she doesn't like you lol. That's just how it is.
I'm 32 and not married either. I am a single mom and have a bf, but he is my neighbor which is how we met. From your question, it doesn't sound like you have a job? You should get one of them before you try finding a lady. My ex was able to explore his twenties like you did and he is very responsible and ambitious, but waited around for the perfect job. Big mistake/turnoff, you take what you get and keep looking for better. It sounds to me, you need to get out from under your parents. Bars are not the place, try the park or church or even shopping at the grocery store...
i think you think too much. just relax and don't overanalyze the situation. instead of focusing on yourself, focus on others. give. volunteer. get to know your neighbors. join a social group or two (a real one, not an internet one). good luck.





ps: even married guys can gain beer bellies. :-)