Advice please for a single woman who looks good but is alone?

I'm a woman in her mid forties but luckily look as a thirty to thirty three year old. I'm not complaining! The thing is, I am currently single and have been for the past few years since the end of a long relationship with my boyfriend. Lots and lots of guys ask me out and particularly guys in their early thirties and even mid twenties. Ok, here's the problem: many of them really wonder how come I'm on my own when I look good and have a good job etc. It gets my confidence down when they ask me this at the very beginning (usually the first date). I can't cope with this question and am aware that it's probably a lack of confidence on my part. Why don't they just see that in this world its often difficult to meet the right person. I am selective and I tell them this but sometimes, I think they suspect there is some big problem and just don't go through with things. Any ideas would really help me. Say from someone who has been through this?Advice please for a single woman who looks good but is alone?
Just tell them the truth...your standards are high and obviously you have yet to meet someone who can raise to the challenge of those standardsAdvice please for a single woman who looks good but is alone?
I would just go one day at a time.





Perhaps you could go overseas and work in an orphanage or with some organisation. You will then meet lots of good people and have an amazing life.





Better than spending your life trying to look young and always looking for the right person.


There will be something out there, just for you.
Just say what you want to say. Speak the truth and say whats on your mind. You're a mature adult.
Being in a good relationship is the best thing in the world, it's worth working for...therefore I think you need some counselling because you sound seriously insecure...perhaps your ex made you feel this way or something, but you need to talk to someone about this because it's not normal.
You just don answere this question on the first date...


Remember you don have to answere all questions that are asked to you /


You just smile and ask how come you are unattached and get the other person in defensive...


Be confident[


Smile


I suggest you meditate daily ..it will help surely.


You are choosey and have high standards ..I like that....


Your long relationship with last person has left some scars it seems ..you can share them with me on mail and I will help you get over them.


All the best
Why does it hurt you? It is a compliment. You seem like the type of woman that should have been taken a long time ago. That means that they think you are too good to be true. You should feel complimented, not offended.
tell them the truth when they ask
It's society's impression of what is ';normal'; for people - they sell the stereotype - women=skinny, men=job, etc. Society can't handle single people who are happy and single. And if you don't have kids (like me), even more unusual....
Have you ever given thought to this?:: Maybe all of the available men in your area are saying to themselves ';Well, she's an attractive woman with a lot to offer..but I'm sure she's already got a boyfriend. Why should I bother?'; This happened a lot to both my mother and my aunt (her sister) when they were in College. They never seemed to get asked out on dates because the men in their lives just assumed that they were already taken. My suggestion to you is to grab the bull by the horns and make your own destiny. Mingle, flirt and live your life to the fullest. If you're interested in a single guy, why not throw the age-old ';tradition'; of ';guy asks out girl'; completely out the window and do the asking yourself. The worst a man can do is turn you down. If so, well..its his loss. He probably wasn't worth having anyway. As the saying goes: There is an a*ss for every seat!
I hope this is useful material for thought. You look younger than your years and often get asked out by men who are quite a bit younger than yourself. Perhaps they are pleased as punch when they get to date that good looking female who has been attracting their attention and occupying their thoughts, but then have time to dwell on the age gap and worry about incompatibility. Could some even be envious of your good job or assume that you are very independent, and unlikely to put much into a relationship, i.e. works hard at the career, where will that leave me?





Your post rings a few bells with me as I have an ex-girlfriend of around your age who was a lovely looking girl, and who moved away to another town about 20 years ago. I know she now has a very good job, and I learned about 18 months ago she was still single, which I wouldn’t have expected really; but as you say, it is often difficult to meet the right person.





If you recall acting as if you didn’t care about anything, whilst casually eating peanuts on the steps of a certain hotel / bar, and also using the word “Repugnant” in the most sexy way ever on many other occasions, this is truly uncanny, I would love to hear from you. In reality there are 60 million people in this country and it is probably just coincidence, so put it down to too much wine and some genuine good wishes anyway.





Thank goodness for Yahoo anonymity.
I think you owe no explanation to anyone..... and I do think that they say this as a compliment. Maybe it's also a way of ASKING / making sure that you're indeed not taken, instead of going directly for the ';are you in a relationship / married???';. I don't think you need to be insecure, e.g. thinking that they won't date you cuz they think you're a problematic person, a divorcee, too burnt by your past relationships, etc... This is not necessarily the case. Maybe they just want to test the waters, so to speak, to see what they can expect from dating you. Men are often scared by a confident, strong and independent woman..... I've been there. If such is the case, then it's their loss!! You didn't miss out on too much anyway. Just feel right about yourself and, if the right guy is to show up one day, he will!! Many of us hope for the same...... Good luck....








Would you answer my question?





http://answers.yahoo.com/question/;_ylc=…








Thanks....
Date some more your age, %26amp; don't let them know how long you've been alone; it's really none of their business, cause it's just a date. Keep mysterious %26amp; don't tell them much at all. Let him talk about himself %26amp; his thoughts %26amp; hobbies %26amp; things. Women tells too much, too quicklly------Make them wonder!! Most of the guys only has one thing on their mind, anyway.
Not only are you over-analyzing this, you're over-analyzing your over-analysis and then discussing it.





Live it, do it, be it, buy our sneakers .... (sorry, I seemed headed for an advertising cliche).





Be who you are, an attractive woman in her mid-forties. Don't try to be a woman who is this age but looks that age. Enjoy the compliment from the young guys, but turn them down unless you're looking to be someone's relationship and/or sex teacher. Look closer to your age for the right person. (Yes, I would say the same to a man in his mid-forties.)
I'm a single 52 yr. old woman that is always mistaken for 35 yrs. Thank God too! hehe I started dating after my husband died after 18 1/2 yrs of marriage. I dated alot and had so much fun! I met my man and moved in with him in April of this year. He has since asked me to marry him. By the way, he is younger than me wink My question to you is what's the problem? You say you look younger than you are. You have a good job. It must be you have low self esteem because you are listening to other people about the subject you should know more about....you. You should know what you want in a relationship. What you will put up with and what you will absolutely not put up with. Why do care what these people think of you? Sounds like you'd have it goin' on if you would stop worrying about what these people think. Just reply you know what you want in a relationship and stand by what you say. I know you wanted advice from a single woman but hey, I guess I must know something, 'cause I'm not single anymore! Good luck!
I don't think how you are answering that one question is the reason that guys stop seeing you. There has to be more to it than that. Maybe they think you are down on yourself and not confident enough.





It's not your age that's the problem (unlike what one person said). If it was the problem, they wouldn't be asking you out in the first place. Maybe you are doing something that they find off-putting. Ask some of your friends if you come across as insecure or too high maintenance or something.





Just do things that make you happy and when you are out doing things you love, you will feel happy and exude confidence. Avoid bars. Take night classes in things that interest you. You can keep your standards high and still find someone who is right for you.





As far as the question they ask you, just say that it's hard to find the right person sometimes. Don't get defensive or act insecure when they ask you that. Practice at home some better replies. I'm sure they don't mean it in the way you are taking it.
You can think you are as young as you want to..the truth is you are STILL in your mid 40's..........shelf life has expired.
Two things: When you meet someone, maybe first date, or just sitting having a drink with someone you just met at a club or bar, if they ask you these types of questions answer them this way- ';We don't know each other well enough for those kinds of questions.';





this let's them know that you're not trying to push them away, but you're not ready to delve into your life with them either.





Second, a good answer the the whole ';how come you're single when your so hot and you have a good job,blah,blah,blah'; is this: I was in a long term relationship and it taught me one thing: there are worse things than being alone.';





This tells them you're no fool, you're not ';needy'; but rather ';selective';, and if they can handle all that they'll stay and have that drink. If they can't handle such honesty and maturity, you're better off without them anyway.