Monday, August 23, 2010

My fiance is away for work, hasn't called me and I just recieved a call from a woman. Advice?

My fiance has gone on a cruise ship to refurbish some of the areas of the ship. He has been gone for 10 days and he has called me 4 out of these past 10 days and 1 text saying how much he misses and loves me. When we talk he tells me how much he misses me but he can't talk for more than 10 minutes because he either has to go back for work or he says that the phone line is really expensive. He told me that he works from 7am to 1am with 5 1hour breaks throughout the day. I called his number yesterday in the morning and then at night and he didn't pick up. I just miss him and feel frustrated that we cannot communicate more than this. I feel so anxious about what and how he is doing. Every time he calls it says UNKNOWN because he is on a ship.





THEN today I just received an UNKNOWN call and picked up and a woman just said 'Hello', then hung up.





NOW, I am Freaking out. What was that all about? Things go through my mind because I am feeling so distant from him. Should I call him and ask him about this? What should I do?? Am I over exaggerating





He is spanish and he is in the caribbean on a ship right now. The lady who said HELLO had a strong spanish accent.My fiance is away for work, hasn't called me and I just recieved a call from a woman. Advice?
To those that are questioning the working hours and habits on cruise ships. It is normal to work 18 hrs days while underway with many breaks like the original poster stated. Performing renovations/maintenance while underway is also very normal. Usually they will happen in the areas where the passengers are not allowed access to. If it is in areas do have access to they will block of areas around there to prevent passengers from actually seeing the areas being worked on if possible.





The more the ship is out at sea with passengers means that the cruise ship makes money. Keeping a ship in port is expensive in itself. So when they can maintenance is down while underway. Making a ship to shore phone call is very expensive also if they are using the ship communications. Getting a chance to go ashore if you are part of the maintenance/engineering crew is rare also.





My fiance is away for work, hasn't called me and I just recieved a call from a woman. Advice?
Maybe she was a relative, and thought she had the wrong number. Maybe she got disconnected accidently. When we took a cruise, i called my mother from our room on the ship. I stayed on the phone for I swear like 2 mins. and the bill was $100. It is very expensive. Next time you talk to him, ask him.
With many years of experience counseling members of my church I can say without a doubt Fred Borman is 100% correct. Often times we tend to shift blame to others then take the hard path of accepting some of the responsibility ourselves. Hopefully you will embrace his heritage and put this relationship back on track.
calm down. i think you're totally blowing this out of proportion. it could've simply been somthing along the lines of the person that went to use the phone next simply hit redial or something stupid like that. i think you're really overreacting.
Soy asi' cunfused por este.





Pienso que el hace trampas en usted!








UNKNOWN.
It could've just been a wrong number you know. The fact that she had a spanish accent could've been a coincidence.
Fred Borman- divine answer, just one minor thing, Spaniards don't eat burritos, we prefer empanadillas ;)
you are 100% over exaggerating. This call could have come from anywhere
So what you got the SAME call yesterday to?????





Or wait, I guess you did not get the answer you wanted YESTERDAY when you posted this....






Hmmmm.....i would just calll him. I'm sure its nothing. Prolly just a quincidence. I hope he returns home to you soon. Take care.
Maybe it was a wrong number, and instead of her saying ';oops. sorry!'; she just hung up. I've had that happen before.
I think you might be over reacting. Wait til you talk to him again.
wow you really dont trust your husband at all.
let's hope it was just a wrong number.
First of all don't overreact...


Just because a woman calls said ';Hello'; then hung up, doesn't mean anything wrong is happening. She knows he is on the ship so there is no reason for her to call his home except to start trouble. Her goal may be to get you to loose your head ';freaking out'; and piss off your fiance with accusations and maby drive him to her.





This happened to me once when I turned a nightcap down. The woman got mad and said ';Whats the matter?!?!?! Im not good enough?!?!?!'; She called my house the next morning to let my wife know that I had been having an affair with her. My wife coolly asked this woman to describe the birth mark on my gentiles. She couldn't because she had never seen them.





Yes phone usage on a ship is usually very expensive especially if it is a satellite phone system, which most are.





The #1 thing in any marriage is not love, it is trust, without trust there can be no love because love is the ultimate form of trust.



LOL, it's probably just a wrong number. Trust your man and show him the love he deserves! Wait till he calls you again and ask him to please stay longer than 10 minutes because the lack of communication is depressing you. Tell him about the silly call and about your irrational thoughts. I'm sure he'll comfort you. Just relax, he sounds like a good man.
My first thoughts are why would your fiance give this woman his home number when he knows he's away from home?


That doesn't make much sense. I think this was just a wrong number and just a fluke that she has a spanish accent. Also I am sure the phone calls to you are extremely expensive. I remember when I was in Jamacia on vacation and I made a couple short phone calls and almost passed out when I saw how much they cost. I am sure this is nothing and your relationship is fine but if you still are uneasy simply tell me about the weird phone call and ask him if he was expecting a phone call. Good luck!
dont listen to Fred Boreman or whatever..


just cuz u dont cook or know spanish dialect doesnt give your husband the right to cheat on you.. of course u should always put out though..





as for the hang up call.. could be a wrong number, but i highly doubt it.


your husband is away on a cruise ship, of course hes gunna cheat on you...what man doesnt cheat?? what women doesnt cheat? WE ALL DO.





meh, when you call and he dont pick up?? obvious cheating...these other people are stupid saying hes not.





he is...





dump his ***
You are overreacting.





Your husband has called you frequently to make sure you're all right. He loves you. He misses you. You can feel secure in that.





What you had to day is known as a wrong number. It's totally harmless. And in case you didn't notice, you two aren't the only spanish people on the globe.





So, put this worry away. You're a big girl now, and you have to learn how to handle being on your own once in a while. If you feel lonely, call up some gals and go for a few drinks. Do some socializing and you'll feel better.





If your husband comes home to a wife who is freaked out, frazzeled, and fustraited...how happy will he be to see you?





Spend the rest of your week preparing something nice for him.





-A big home cooked meal.


-Maybe something naughty to change into his first night back.


-Get some massage oil and plan to give his sore muscles a rub down.





Whatever you plan, make it something relaxing and unstressful (big fancy dinners at restaurants and dancing all night are not good ideas. He'll be very tired).





So instead of worrying about your marriage, you'll be PLANNING how to make it even better. And it'll give you something to look forward to.





You can even drop him little hints on the phone, letting him know he's got a surpise when he comes home.





Heck, even letting him off the leash and sending him out to the bar with his friends would be a really sweet thing to do for him.





One thing is certain; the more time you spend worrying about YOURSELF and how YOU feel, the more difficult it鈥檒l be for him when he gets back. Nobody wants to come home to a jilted spouse. It makes coming home such a chore.





Then you really will be in danger of your husband straying. And that鈥檚 not good. By being a loving and supportive wife, you'll feel better about your position in the marriage. By thinking about HIM FIRST...you've actually served YOURSELF FIRST. You'll have a devoted husband and you'll feel much much better.





So, start laying plans. Go see your girlfriends. Take a trip to see family. Do some projects around the house. Hell, even curl up and watch all the girl movies he never wants to see in your DVD collection. Bring along a little Ben and Jerry鈥檚 for a date.





Keep yourself stress and worry-free. When he comes home to a beautiful woman, a warm house, a good meal, and body massage鈥?you鈥檒l never have to worry about fidelity.





And he鈥檒l boast that he鈥檚 married to the most wonderful woman on the planet!





Good Luck!
Could be a lot of things, could have been a wrong number, more then one number comes up listed as unknown for anywhere in the country. And that is what I would assume it is unless you dont trust him, could be he left his phone lay and one of the staff picked it up and hit the last number called..I mean not everyone is trustworthy and lots of people mess with your stuff when you are at hotels and on cruiseships..they're not supposed to but they do.


Try not to think the worst
Dear HotJewels,





Hello! Fred Borman here!





It would appear to me that we have an unquestionable case of infidelity on our hands. But before we jump up and start pointing fingers here let us ask ourselves the real question which is... who is to blame?





The clear answer of course is yourself. This man is slaving away on a cruise ship while doing what he can to make himself a living while you are spending your days lounging around with nothing better to do than call him in inappropriate times of day. To think that this wouldn't happen eventually is simply naive and thickheaded.





You mentioned that he is Spanish. What have you done to make him feel comfortable around yourself, a non-Spaniard? Have you began learning his native dialect? Have you made it a point to have a hot, fresh Qdoba burrito waiting for him on the dinner table after a long days work? Have you done the things in the bedroom that a Spanish man would come to expect from his partner? I think not, or you would not be in this situation right now.





You are now at a crossroads in life. You can either fight to win back the man of your dreams, or just rollover and die. I would recommend you sharpen your tequila drinking abilities, because if there is one thing that can impress a Spaniard it is tequila.





Your friend,





Fred Borman, Family Counselor
Definitely do not call him again. Wait for him to call you. If he doesn't, so what! Don't lead on that you're suspicious or worried about a thing, and don't mention the woman calling you -- until you confront him in person. Wait for him to get back, sit right in front of his face, and civilly ask him whatever you wish...while watching his body language (nose red, itchy, or tugging at his ear, or looking down or closing his eyes, and a big one is if he can't look you in the eyes). Google search ';body language, how to tell when he is lying'; for websites on details. Otherwise, I can tell you from personal experience, that when someone is guilty, they usually get defensive and/or yell (the angry escape). For me, a man on a ship with those rediculous (unreal!) hours, would not work out. I want my man working in town!
I don't know, working from 7am-1am that's pretty unbelievable, I also think it's kinda weird that he is working on a ship while it's on a voyage, seems like they would wait till it's docked to do the renovations. I'd be suspicious too, sounds like the girl he might be seeing was looking for info too and called your number to see who it was.
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