Dating this woman (she's 36) and she's frustrates the heck out of me. Looking for advice that I could give..?

that I could give her, or if you wish, some advice that you want to give me in order hopefully help me understand her. Here is the problem. She's extremely pretty, great smile, great figure, funny (at times). The problem is that there is something always wrong. She constantly needs to be cheered up. Seems like regardless of what she may have going for her, or the numerous positives that she has in her life, she always focuses on the negative. And these negatives are always major things in her mind, but actually they are just a part of being an adult and realizing that everything isn't always going to be perfect and peachy all the time. She complained to me before that her x husband always expected her to be in a great mood. I'm beginning to see that maybe he didn't expect her to always be in a great mood as much as it is he didn't want her to always be in a bad mood. She's just so pessimistic about things and sees everything thing that happens to her as though people are just mean to her, or that God is punishing her for a perceived wrong doing, or sinful behavior. Help!!!! Advice!!!! Asking here because of the larger number of adult women that may have some insight into this.Dating this woman (she's 36) and she's frustrates the heck out of me. Looking for advice that I could give..?
be careful.


i have been in a relationship for three and a half years with a (now) 39 year old woman, pretty, body like a teenager, you get the idea.


as attractive as she is on the outside, her cold personality and constant complaining have me miserable more often than not. there are childhood issues with her so i have always tried to be tolerant of her less than warm disposition.


your description of the woman you are dating reminds me of my own situation. just remember beauty is only skin deep and proceed with caution! i never thought i could be as unhappy as i am with such an attractive woman.


good luck.Dating this woman (she's 36) and she's frustrates the heck out of me. Looking for advice that I could give..?
Ignore it. I have a friend like this and the more I brushed it off (unless a real situation) and then changed the subject the less she did it. She did it for attention. Something was always wrong and when it was it was 10 times worse than it really was.





Since I have been doing this (the past 7 or 8 years) our friendship has become more of a friendship and less of a ';bitchfest';, though everyone needs those now and then...but all the time becomes draining and basically, no fun.
i am strongly assuming she is just a pessimist, that's her character and can hardly be changed. these people can spread negative energy and on the long run are energy takers. now, your mission in life isn't to be someones cheerleader. support, yes, but not cheerleader. it can be very exhausting, if you have the energy and patience to deal with her character, it may work.
Miserable people hate to hang around with cheerful, happy ones. Some people just have a negative outlook. Do not let it pull you down.


If you stay with her, be prepared to see it end badly, and emotionally.


No matter how handsome or beautiful a person is, there is someone out there who is tired of putting up with their ****.
She needs medicine. She won't admit it. It took my wife 13 years of denial. When we had a baby, and the baby started crying when she was having one of her fits.... That hit her like a ton of bricks. she took the meds and in a few months I had the wife I knew was under all that dispair.





Tell her she's harming her kids when they see her like that.
My advice is this: find yourself a new girlfriend.





My mother in-law is like that. She has been her whole life. Never changed. And, no, its not mother-in-law bias.





She didn't change for her husband, she's not going to change for you. If her attitude bothers you now, wait til things get more serious!
Sounds to me like you have yourself a damsel in perpetual distress. Be careful, or she'll keep you coming to her rescue as long you are willing to be her knight. Good luck getting loose. You sound like a wonderful man. You deserve better than this.
Some people are just pessamists and think negative about everything, if that is the case you can't change her, however she may be going through some kind of depression and may need to seek counseling.
dump her!


your blinded because she's a trophy and you're willing look the other way.


if she had a mediocre appearance you'ld drop her instantly
She sound depressed you might need to tell her to seek counseling.
f ****c u ben !!
Tell her. I know, I know.. easier said than done. But if you guys have a good relationship and great communication, just tell her, when she is complaining about some trivial thing that she needs to look on the bright side from time to time. I used to be that way also. My great friend pointed it out to me. Angry at him, I was for a short time until I started thinking about what he said and he was right. I know that got my attention and I started to realize that there was things to be thankful for and life did have days that were bad and some good and sometimes more bad than good but all in all.. not terrible. Point out to her that she brings others down (moods) by hearing her negativity all the time. I wish you luck. If you guys dont have that communication thing going on.. I suggest find another girl friend. Pretty isnt everything.
I was manic-depressive when I was in school and this is exactly how I acted on certain days. Anything anyone said could and would be taken in the most negative way possible. I ended up going to counseling and also was put on mild meds. I definitely suggest using meds as the LAST possible option if nothing else works though cause they didn't do a whole lot for me and they were terrible to come off. They can work wonders for some people though.





Anyway, to be honest, the one thing that really got me out of the cycle was my college boyfriend (now husband). He was brutally honest with me from the beginning. He told me how my attitude was causing problems with the relationship and if I kept acting that way he wouldn't be so keen to stay with me because I kept pushing him away. This was a wake-up call that I needed. Don't get me wrong - I didn't change overnight - and I still have some negative moments (as we all do) - but I'm nothing like what I used to be. He had to put up with some pretty bad / emotional situations - but thankfully he stuck through it and helped me realise that I don't need to feel like that.





If you like her as much as you seem to I would suggest you sit down and talk to her honestly. Tell her how it affects you and give her a reason (or two) to change. Help her start being more positive. If you can cope with and get through a few terrible moments with her then she may just start to become more positive.





I hope this helps - and remember there is always counseling to help as well.
I think you are dating my sister in law. Welcome to the Funhater family!!! I guess some people are just not happy in general. I would say its one (or more) of three things: 1. she's clinically depressed. 2. She's a perfectionist, subsequently nearly everything is a disappointment. 3. Self esteem issues.


If this is the case, you are looking at long hours and low pay in this relationship. I'd get out. A partner needs to be a companion, not a parasite that sucks the pleasure out of life. This is who she is and it's not gonna change.