Im mid 40s woman and recently have started feeling like life has left me behind. Most of my old school friends are married with their own families. I never met a guy I felt I could stay with for my life and as I'm not the kind to 'go it alone' on parenting, I stayed single, with a boyfriend now and again. I did lots of travelling and slaved at a difficult career. The thing is, it is now hitting me very hard that I don't have my own children. It hurts when friends talk about their teenagers in football teams, doing the things we used to do when I first met these girls. Anyone got any advice please? Is there still a chance I can meet someone and have a child or is this crazy thinking? I kow some of thes people with families probably aren't as happy as they make out (most will keep these problems to themselves). Some often say they envy my freedom/options.Advice please for a woman who feels left out (have no family).?
We live in an age where it's quit normal to get a steady relationship or a family at a higher age than say 20 years ago.
More and more people want to have their careers first before settling down. This goes for men and women.
Want this means for you is that a.) it's not 'weird' that you have come to this point at this age and b.) there are more 'souls' like you out there in the world.
Just because in your immediate surrounding people already have started families or long-term relationships doesn't mean that this is the standard.Advice please for a woman who feels left out (have no family).?
i know there is heart ache in you, but dont adopt, as its not the answer, foster is the better option, also, why dont you get a part time job looking after kids, i have three sons who suffer from adh,t they have mentors who take them out on a sat for a few hours, to give me a break and time to my self, maybe you cxould cope with that sort of job, dont pay much but very satifying.
you are not old, i bet that you will meet someone that really loves you, you will have a child and you will be very happy.
It is never too late for anything - and you shold begin to see every day as the beginning of a new adventure. Find yourself some friends, married or not that you can spend time with and begin enjoying yourself. You may find tht some of your married friends with childre actually envy you that you have no ties to hold you back from doing whatever you want to!!
Start a pen-pal relationship, join a new club, go to places that you have never been before, and meet new people.
All the best for the future!!
Try to adopt or work with youth in some way if you want to be around kids! Good luck!
Well, firstly I think you have made a mistake to start thinking about having kids at your age, by the time you find a bloke and get knocked up you are going to be nearly 50 and that is a VERY risky time for you to be having a child, you could die. Not to mention the fact that you would be having a HUMAN BEING and have to think about it (rather than having one, because you are lonely and feeling left out - not the right reasons). You will be 70 by the time the child is 18, and it won't have much of a childhood, because no doubt you will be too tired to do all the active things that kids want to do these days, not to mention the fact that you will never be able to give it a brother or sister.
So, your alternative is to adopt, you can have a very fullfilling life adopting kids, but if you have a challenging career, then I doubt you will be accepted to be a foster parent or whatever, because you won't be able to spare the time.
I think what you have to ask yourself is what YOU really want, is it just seeing other people with kids that has made you think this, or do you really want children and everything that goes with them??
Of course there is still time. You are only 40. You could also consider foster care, mentoring, and adoption. There are many avenues in which you can obtain your goals. If you dont want an infant there are numerous teenagers that are looking for a forever home. Contact your state for listings.
You are still in an age to find a mate and have kids....past is past don't dwell on it too much....there must be a way to meet men suitable for you....if you are not for it, you can adopt a child.( not a baby...you will not be able to cope with an infant at your age ).even a couple of them would be great....you can build a family around you if you put your mind to it., you sound such a capable person.
Why dont you try fostering?, or adoption, There are loads of kiddies, of all ages screaming out for sommeone like you. it may be getting too late to have a child of your own, but fostering or/and adoption is a very rewarding thing to do. Ask your local authority or citizens advice about info on both.
Look at the website below for a bit more advice.
The grass always looks greener on the other side of the street. You made your choice and you have been happy with your life. People with children have a tendency to tell you only the good things that their kids do they speak very little of the bad things and believe me when I tell you that there are plenty of bad things. I raised three sons and one daughter. I love them very much but they are all lucky that they lived through their teen years. All grown and living their own lives now and live all over the country. These days I am so thankful for the many friends I have made over the years and my loving husband. If you are in your mid forties now, you would be pushing 60 by the time your would be 15. I am 60 and if someone told me that I had to deal with a 15 year old everyday I would run away as fast as I could. My advice? Make some good solid friends that you can relate to and enjoy life. If you can find one person to share your life with and love and be loved....that's all you need.
it's never too late, you can even adopt! Although, i understand having your own offspring is special than adopting. However, im sure you will find someone you need confidence, determination and a lot of love. Goodluck!
you can start a family whenevefr you want if its later rather than sooner you van adopt, and as you said most families keep theyre problem to their selves and never forget that everyone has their own destiny even if u dont believe in god or a higher power where you are right now is where youre supposed to be and by the way youre still iin your mid 40's LIFE ISNT over you still have many many years to enjoy You can still do whatever the hell you want if you want kids its not too late and make sure that you do want kids perhaps your surroundings has planted this idea that you HAVe to haver kids.
I wish you all the best of luck
as you get older, your biological clock ticks harder and louder... to be honest, i would say that you left it a little late to have a child... but there is still time to meet a guy...
you need to stop looking at what you HAVEN'T got and be thankful for what you HAVE got...
The grass is always greener on the other side. You might be envious of these people now because your biological clock is ticking. Raising a family can be a blessing or the biggest hardship of your life. You never know how it will turn out. I'll bet your married parental friends often listen to your tales of freedom with as much envy as you do listening to them. Maybe you just need a soulmate.
Life has a funny way of throwing things at us. You can find love at any age, but I would honestly think twice about having children at this point in your life. Sorry to say this, but think about the child when he/she is finishing high school and starting college? Isn't that about the time you would be hoping to retire from the workforce. And that unthinkable uncertainty of an early death, leaving a small child parentless. There are other disadvantages of having children later in life, tiredness comes to mind, the generation gap is another. Being mistaken as the grandparent :(
Fostering children might be a good option. There are so many kids in need of good temporary and long term homes and some stay in contact with the foster parent/s for life.
Certainly you could meet someone and pregnancy is still on the table (tho some increased risks). To me, if you at this age are already questioning the results of your decisions about having family so far, it's only going to become more pressing to you. I think your really need to set aside how you've envisioned yourself doing things and decide what you want to do first. Figure out the who, what, when and where only after you've got this figured out. You probably are in a great financial situation to have a child and be a working mom, because of all the time you've spent working at your career. The way I see it, you've got to choose your path for yourself, as you've probably always done, instead of waiting for someone to lead you. good luck.
You can still improve childrens lives, either by adoption,fostering or care work - of course there still ';is a chance';. Good luck, and freedom and options are nice things, however they can become a prison and chain
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