Advice for a married woman, dating another married man...?

my best friend is married and she and her hubby have been up and down for a while. not so long ago she met a guy who was having issues in his marriage also. so the two started to get together and see each other. i thought it was just a fling or maybe they found something compatible in each other, like the attention. I have no idea, but now she thinks leaving her current hubby is a good idea. she swears this is real, and its love and all that jazz, but i can't help but thinking can two people who are currently married, then get together after the divorces, really be ok together? i try to tell to watch it bc i mean who knows if has done this sorta thing before. this is his 2nd marriage and her first..am i wrong to be telling her its just not a good situation? i feel awful about it, but i just don't want to see her get hurt or jump right into someone else's arms! what should i do to give her some friendly advice, without making her upset because i mean im not in the situation so its hard to feel for her or understand...





anyone else been in this situation, and the two of you got together after wards and made it work?? i need some inspiring words because I am speechless on this topic! Help!Advice for a married woman, dating another married man...?
nope...it is not a good idea....becasue the majority of men dont leave thier wives for the tramp that they are seeing.....if they do they usually dont stay together ....because sometimes its just the illicit nature of the relationship they have...and when the adreniline and lust is gone...they find they have little or nothing much in common. The other reason why thye break up....is that neither really knows what true commitment is about....and that working on a relationship is the way to success....becasue they give up....and dont learn a thing from their errors





: )Advice for a married woman, dating another married man...?
if your best friend is unhappy with her current marriage then she needs to talk to her husband, to tell him how she feels and what's she wants now which is not him, its someone else. weather they will be ok in the end together has to be determined.


If this is bothering you so much then tell your friend how you feel.
Anyone who will start another relationship while they are already in one is not worth having. And is they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. I'd talk to your friend, and try to talk her out of the decision....when this person starts having trouble with her, regular life stuff, he'll do the same to her...they always do.





Try to help.
I think your advice so far to your friend has been accurate. Here's the thing if they cheated on their spouses with each other what is going to stop them from continuing this pattern. This hasn't happened to me but my parents did this and they are both on marriage number 3. This should tell you how well this works?!
There maybe nothing you can say to stop her from getting with this other man if she makes the choice to leave her husband. She may just have to find out the outcome on her own. But I would not stand in her way but you may need to be there for her if it does not work out.
its really hard to watch and see your friends make a really big mistake but i think that its there life and you can advise them of your opinion but its up to them what they do all you can do is say as long as your happy that's all that matters and be there for them
I know she's your best friend, but you really need to let her do what she wants and feels is best. Just be there for her and pray this relationship will work. Only she can decide what she wants. :)
Don't get involved, she'll just get offensive.


be there for her, and keep your opinions to yourself.


suggest mariage counseling before she makes a decision.
tell your friend to stop and think can he support her and can he provide her basic needs and habits what ever that is if not then keep to him and tell the other guy to hit the road
Stay out of it. Sounds like two fools have found each other. It won't last. They are just using each other to leave the mess they are in but how can it work???????


Outrider
Your friend is setting herself up for failure. No good will come from this new relationship.
It will never work until the 2 consentrate on each other whoever 2 may be and where there is love and like!
Back off, if its 4 sex back off , go buy your self a real nice bzzzzzz toy , slow down , THINK !
i wouldnt worry about their problems/relationship
get a better quality friend
They deserve each other;
That person or you whoever it is has issues.
Lie down with dogs, rise up with fleas





--Poor Old Richard.
just let her live her life
well they deserve each other couple of spoons
The reason your friend should not leave her husband for this other guy is for many reasons, however the main reason is due to the fact that many people who are married start to get bored as the newness of the once romantic man or woman they married starts to settle down, reality of bills, in-laws, and who left the cap off the tooth paste become a constant reminder of simplicity, and while most married people can adjust and not cross any major boundaries, many cannot, especially women who are so attracted to the power and thrill of fresh romance and love, and to a certain degree their is nothing wrong with these wants and desires, however when your married and your boyfriend is married, ah it gets a little dysfunctional, and the consequences of both their actions will be quite humbling. Let us just assume she leaves her hubby for the married man, after a while this married guy who she thinks is Mr. Wonderful, won't be so wonderful, as he is merely a man, no different then the man she has now, they will have the same issues, bills, in-laws, and might I add, maybe in-laws who don't respect her, family issues, and again, who left the cap off the tooth paste? After the party simmers down, it will be fairly much of the same old same old, different man sure, but at the end of the day, this honeymoon will end. Your friend is a attention love seeker, she needs to really take some time to get to know who she is as a woman, this must be done alone, no men, and this is my advise, clarity is the best remedy, and you cant get this by being married, and dating a married man, do I make any sense?
Well, I've been in this situation. I was finalising my divorce, and my partner was also married, now divorced, when we first met. And yes its been bloody hard for the past 3 years for us to both be going through divorces and custody issues whilst trying to get our own relationship off he ground. Between us we have so much emotional baggage that is threatening our peace and love together, thats for sure, but rather than walking away, we have made a committment to do our best to work out all of our problems and be happy together. Only time will tell if we are successful.





Bottom line is.. it isnt supposed to be this hard. Really its putting the relationship behind the 8 ball right from the beginning.





Its always best to get over a relationship ending BEFORE entering into a new one. Start clean. And in your friends case, she first needs to deal with actually breaking up with her husband first, and thats not going to be easy, and he's going to be bitter when he finds out she has been cheating.
I would for sure talk to her, and tell her you don't think it's a good idea. Don't be surprised or upset when or if she reacts negatively towards your advice - try practicing what you will say with a friend and word it in the best most supportive way possible. As a caring friend, talking to her is definitely the right thing to do. Urge her to get marriage counseling. She's your friend, and eventually, if she gets mad, after the heat wears off, she'll see you for what you are - a caring friend.


(And if she doesn't listen to you, try not to say ';I told you so!'; when it all comes crashing down on her again).
you ended your comments with, '; I am speechless on this topic, help';





first of all, stay speechless, you will loose your friend over this if it does work and she tells the guy what you said, and if she gets hurt she may not come to you out of you already told her not to do it.





Be her friend, but not her moral guild here. Listen to here and tell her you will be there for her either way it works out, but to keep cheating on her husband and the other women is not good and she should know that without having to be told.
you cant start a new relationship until the old one is dead and buried, at the moment she has the best of both worlds, a secure place to come home to and the spice of something new, tell her to be fair to both parties, stop seeing the new guy and sort out the marriage, if it is over, finish it and then move on, if the current marriage is failing, seeing someone else is not helping and making it irrepairable. I have watched my ex-wife move from guy to guy, leaving each one for another, and now she is a very lonely old woman with a tag for being a serial cheat, her abuse has made me a much stronger person and I thank her for that, best schooling I ever had, the pain was certainly not pretty, but the education invaluable, my new/current wife is a gem. I was alone for many years after my first wife burned me, not trusting anyone for a long time. Now she is alone and untrusted by everyone, even our kids dont trust her or want to spend time with her, I have to remind them to call her for birthdays, and holidays or they dont bother. Karma really does come back to bite you.
What you need is to stay out of it and cut all ties with this alleged ';friend'; until she grows up and starts doing the right thing . Do you like drama is this why your involved in it and now involving us ?





Easy problem solver she may choose to ignore 1 statement .





';If he will cheat WITH you , he WILL cheat ON you ';.





But she's a cheat so it's a fair game because she'll tire of him once the excitement is finished and she'll cheat on him please tell her dont have children they dont need a skank mother .